Saturday 3^rd January-What an idiot

Up at 1.10am; I went back to bed at 5am and was up about 7.45am.

I spent most of the morning putting music into my ITunes and finishing the weekly Admin off; it feels strangely nice to know I won’t have to do that again for a while.

In the afternoon set off for the last distribution run for a while; it didn’t go well, we got to the first port of call only to realise that I’d left some of the stuff behind, so we had to go all the way back to the Rectory to get it. Started again this time we nearly got to the end at Reg’s in Diss when he asked what about the keys? What an idiot, me that is not him, I’d completely forgotten about giving him any keys; not that he needed them all but I thought that perhaps he would need Roydon’s keys at least. So after we finished the round we set off again this time with the keys for Roydon; not that I would have known, I fell asleep in the driveway of the Rectory until I was woken up as we got back, I, of course was totally disorientated and thought we hadn’t gone yet.

I guess it was just after 7pm by the time we got back; had a snack supper while watching the new ITV programme “Demons” which wasn’t bad, it certainly has potential if you like that sort of thing. I was a bit disappointed by the announcement of the new Dr. Who, a 26 year old unknown actor but we won’t see him in action until 2010.

Jan & I discussed where we were going to worship tomorrow; I want our worship to be refreshing but also a learning experience, so I would like to worship somewhere different every Sunday and preferably with a mixture of denominations. I’ve devised a sort of form that we can both fill in to get some comparison between the various places; I don’t want our worship to be purely an academic exercise but I would like to bring back some fresh ideas in April. I would like to have worshipped somewhere where they didn’t know us but I’m not sure that that is totally possible here. My first thought was the Banham Fellowship but as I can’t find any trace of them on the net it looks as if they have fallen at the first hurdle. My next choice is the Baptist Church in Diss but they have no easy parking access so they also fall; It is left between DC3 and The Vine Church in Diss but you’ll have to wait until tomorrow to see what happens.

We also talked about me having a day in a crematorium observing funerals; I’m not totally convinced that we do a good job in crematoria so it might be an interesting experience but I shan’t do that until I go down to Wales. When I was training I spent a week with a Funeral Director in Swansea learning about what happens from their side; I also spent a day at a crematorium looking at the other side of funerals and what happens behind the scenes at a crematorium, it might be good to re-visit that again, but we’ll see.

I’ve had a cold all week but it has never really come out; it seems to be alternating between my throat and nose and although it isn’t bothering me that much it is causing my throat to be really dry. The other two patients seem to have fully recovered now; only Drew’s gout is still bothering him a little.

I’m a little disappointed that the website is not being updated but I am trying desperately not to interfere although I will take a few items off the front page because that needs to be done at a more advanced level.

Bed at 10.30pm.

God be with you-Keep the faith and keep smiling-I am-Rob.

Friday 2^nd January-Parish Admin

Up at 2.05am and I went back to bed about 6.30am and was up again just before 9am.

Well here I am on my Sabbatical and what am I doing-Parish Admin again-but hopefully this will be the last time until April.

I’ve been freezing all day; but then that is my fault as I‘ve been wearing just a T-shirt and shorts; I’m just trying to convince myself that I am on my Sabbatical, I don’t suppose it will feel real until we’ve left the Rectory.

I’m still ploughing through all my CD’s trying to get them all on my ITunes before we go; it has been something that I’ve wanted to do for a long time.

I finished working about 7.30pm; we then had supper after which I fell asleep to be woken by Jan to go to bed at 11.15pm.

God be with you-Keep the faith and keep smiling-I am-Rob.

Thursday 1^st January 2009-Family meal

Up at 2.10am but I went back to bed about 6.30am and was up again at 9.30am.

Didn’t do much at all today other than putting music on ITunes. Chris fitted up slingbox which was brilliant; in the evening had a family meal with Chris, Drew & Dawn and then had a lovely chat with Drew & Dawn. Spoke to Susie, my sister who lives in Sleaford.

Bed at 12.15am.

God be with you-Keep the faith and keep smiling-I am-Rob.

Wednesday 31^st-That was it

Up at Midnight but I managed to get back to bed just after 5am and was then up again at 7am.

Quite a busy day ahead today; I took the 9.30am Communion at Roydon, I don’t normally take this service, it is normally taken by Reg or Ben but I felt as it was my last working day before my Sabbatical that I would take it. It might well be the last communion service I take before my return on 5^th April.

Straight after the service we had a meeting of the Fersfield PCC in the Parish Room at Roydon; this was a meeting to formally accept the grant offer from English Heritage, to sign the contracts and get the whole thing in motion.

I then had a couple of appointments to see people at the Rectory which kept me busy until about 1.15pm; there was just time then for a quick lunch before taking people communion at home in Diss. These were regular members of Roydon both at home and in Walcott Hall; I took communion to 6 people all in all and visited another in Walcott Hall.

By the time I finished it was 5.30pm and I got back to the Rectory just before 6pm, it had been a long day but I was glad to be able to see so many people on my last day. I sat down to have a cup of tea and that was the last thing I remembered until Jan woke me up for supper at 8pm.

We watched a film on TV “Dead Again (1991)” a sort of mystery thriller; Jan thought it was good, I thought it had a good ending but was pretty cheesy most of the way through. We then watched the ending of “Event Horizon (1997)” a Sc-Fi film Jan and I have seen this film many times but never the whole way through, we’ve seen the beginning, the middle but never the ending so we finally got to see the ending tonight. One day we’ll have to sit down and watch the whole thing from beginning to end in one go.

We’re not really New Year Party type people; in fact some times in the past I’ve deliberately gone to bed early on New Year’s Eve but tonight we stayed up to see the New Year in so we got to bed about 12.30pm.

It just dawned on us during the evening that that was it we were now on Sabbatical; it seems a long time coming but it is finally here. I want to spend the next few days tidying up the final bits of admin and filling a few holes in the Worship Rota for January and February before doing some visiting next week and travelling down to Swansea after the funeral next Friday.

I’m not totally sure what I’ll do with the blog, I will certainly continue to write it but I’m not sure if I’ll publish it every day (I’m sure it will be pretty boring) or whether I’ll publish it every week or so or when I do anything of any interest, we’ll see.

There is one thing I’ve been meaning to put in my blog for the last week; we’re very blessed in this part of Norfolk of having so much varied and interesting wildlife but I’ve always thought it was strange that in the twelve years we’ve been here we’ve never seen a fox (we’ve seen them in many other places but not here) well we saw one on Christmas Eve as we were going to the Midnight service at Fersfield, it was running across the road between fields in Hall Lane.

I'd like to wish all my readers a hopeful, peaceful and healthy New Year in 2009.

God be with you-Keep the faith and keep smiling-I am-Rob.

Tuesday 30^th-Awe and excitement

Up at 1.55am and I managed to get back to bed at 6.30am and was up again at 8am.

Not too bad a day today; the morning and early afternoon is spent preparing for the children’s party later today.

Jan and I went to Roydon about 3pm to set up for the party; we were a little disappointed, to say the least, to find that the magazine was being collated so we had to sit around until about 3.45pm until that was finished. Why had no one told me; apart from the fact we might have been able to have helped, especially as I’d asked in church on Sunday if anyone knew when the magazine was to be collated?

It wasn’t too bad really except people kept leaving the door open so by the time the party started at 4pm the room was freezing!

When it got to 4pm we only had two children and I thought that perhaps this was going to be our first disaster but thankfully it wasn’t to be and we ended up with 22 children and 16 adults which was a good number it was far more manageable than when we get up into the 30’s.

I think we had some great fun; there were terrible cracker jokes by the bucket load with the children themselves making a fair contribution, games, magic (thanks to Magic Mark book him for your children’s party), stories, food and an introduction to Godfrey the Gorilla (one of my puppets). Jan particularly watched the children when I had Godfrey out and she said that most of them were mesmerised by him; there were a few who wanted to hit him but most thought he was adorable. He was quite a hard puppet to handle because he was quite slippery inside and my hand kept coming out of the mouth part so I wasn’t able to control his lips very well; I don’t suppose it looked brilliant in having to keep pulling him down my arm as he rode up, I’ll have to work on that.

There were two things that were really fascinating: One was M got them dancing and the other was K and S’s noisy balloons and exploding bits and pieces the children were absolutely brilliant in their reactions to both, especially the younger ones. I couldn’t help but watch the two youngest ones F & J as they were just so excited at watching the balloons. If you ever felt blue this was the antidote just to watch the sheer look of awe and excitement on their faces.

I even got Jan to teach them an old scout song with absolutely no warning; I did think she was going to explode when she was doing it though.

I had two strange things said to me at the party: The first was when one child sidled up to me and called me Dad and the other was being told a rather unsuitable joke about the Sun Newspaper by an eight year old which I spent the rest of the afternoon trying to stop them from relaying it to the other children (I can’t tell you what it was but it was about Page 3)!

I think on the whole it was a great success thanks to J, S, C, K & M without their help it wouldn’t be possible; I think even the parents enjoyed it. We even gave every child a book token as a Christmas present from the church; I just love giving things away even though a vicar’s wife I know says I spend far too much on doing so.

If I should die or retire tomorrow I would consider the work we’ve done with children here would make my life worthwhile; of all the things I’ve done in my life, including being a policeman it has been my work, with others as a team, with children that has given me my greatest satisfaction.

Tomorrow is my last working day before my Sabbatical and it is a very busy one which is befitting of New Year’s Eve.

When we got back to the Rectory I was just so tired; Jan had to wake me for supper, then again for dessert and then again to go to bed at 9.55pm with sleep following on at 9.56pm.

I can only count my blessings that there is a small dedicated team who share my love of working with the children; how I wish I was 20 years younger and as fit as I was then; but I thank God that he has given me the privilege of working with children. I just wish the Benefice would rejoice and celebrate the work we do with children, not me but the team we have.

God be with you-Keep the faith and keep smiling-I am-Rob.

Monday 29^th-World annihilation

Up at 2.35am but I managed to go back to bed at 6.30am and was up again at 8.30am.

Drew is suffering again but this time with gout which he gets from time to time as a result of a side effect from his anti-rejection medicines he has to take because of his kidney transplant. This particular attack is a very nasty one which is causing him great pain. He has to get an emergency appointment to see the Doctor to get the necessary medication to relieve the problem.

Staff meeting at the Rectory at 10.30am with Ben and Reg; hopefully I was able to put some of Reg’s fears to rest about what is expected of him during the Sabbatical. Most of what I do normally is being covered by lay people; so all Ben and Reg are being expected to do is to maintain the services with the help of the lay readers and other clergy and cover for any immediate pastoral emergencies and funerals that may crop up.

Number 1 Son, Chris is here with us today to set up some bits of technology like a Blu-Ray Player he and Neha gave us for Christmas and a slingbox to enable us to watch Sky television down in Wales. Of course he does neither but he has done some other important bits for me; the new giant monitor is now up and running which does have a certain WoW factor, he managed to get that going with some highly technical rejigging of internal settings. He also managed to get a network storage system working for me that provides Raid Technology which is a good back up tool.

Sadly Neha couldn’t be with us today as she is now unwell, which is a shame because we were looking forward to seeing all the family together; get better soon Neha. With no Neha with him Chris decides to begin the world annihilation of all brussel sprouts; so if you hear of a gas explosion in the region of Sunnyside you’ll know who is to blame! We all missed Neha tonight.

After a long drawn out Christmas Dinner Supper, but a very enjoyable one we went to bed about 11.50pm.

God be with you-Keep the faith and keep smiling-I am-Rob.

Sunday 28^th-Pre-Sabbatical Meal

Up at 2.15am.

It all feels very strange today; today will be my last Sunday on duty in the Benefice until 5^th of April (Palm Sunday), thankfully it is not a difficult day with only two services. I just hope I can keep my emotions in check; although our intentions are to come back after three months of Sabbatical one of the main reasons of the Sabbatical are to test my vocation and to try to discern if God still wants me to be a parish priest or if he has some other plans for me. We have been overwhelmed by the number of people who have made us promise to come back.

I have a little bit of a sore throat this morning which sometimes for me this is a precursor for a cold or something; I hope not because there are still things to be done this week so I don’t really want to be ill until Thursday at least.

The two morning services went very well albeit not very well attended; the nearer Christmas Day is to a Sunday the poorer the attendance is on the Sunday, so the next few years means that the Sunday after Christmas will be poorly attended. Both services are attended by about 45 people all in all which is pretty poor for five parishes, but at least we are all gathered in one church rather than being spread around five.

Thankfully no emotive speeches made other than a wish you well by A; although rather strangely in the coffee afterwards I am kissed by some of the female (thankfully) members of the congregation, do they know something I don’t?

When we return to the Rectory it all feels rather strange that I won’t be doing any Sunday duties for another 14 weeks; although there is still a little bit of work to be done this week, in fact there are three quite busy days.

As usual we have our light Sunday lunch; soup and a sandwich before I become unconscious. Then it feels even stranger that there is no evening service; I’m already beginning to feel disorientated and I haven’t even started the Sabbatical yet.

Number 1 Son, Chris called into see us fresh back from their holiday in Harrogate. Tomorrow is our Christmas Day as we are all gathering in the evening for a pre-Sabbatical meal because we won’t be seeing the boys again for this time; I’m looking forward to that, the family gathering that is not the not seeing the boys for 14 weeks..

I’m continuing to work my way through my CDs trying to get as much as possible onto my ITunes; one of the personal things I hope to achieve in the next three months is to get my extensive music collection into some semblance of order and to listen to it. I love listening to music but I’m always afraid that I’ll miss the phone or the doorbell (I do like to listen to it LOUD) so I don’t normally listen to it while I’m working.

We had a lovely pasta supper whilst watching the Hellboy 2 which is right up my street-Comic Book Hero with lots of monsters and special effects; I very nearly fell asleep at the beginning but actually managed to stay awake for the whole film.

Bed at 11.55am.

God be with you-Keep the faith and keep smiling-I am-Rob.

Saturday 27^th-Beginning to wilt

Up at 2.40am.

Kept plugging away the admin until going down to Bressingham about 11am for the wedding; at least today there is no distribution run, as all our services are in Roydon tomorrow, I’m hoping that I can get most of the distribution done there.

Both of the patients are getting back to normal; Drew is still a bit washed out and as always after a cold or flu Jan has a hacking cough.

I forgot to say that the cheque from the Funeral Director’s in Thetford finally turned up albeit with the payee blank and for the wrong amount; if I was a cynic I would say that it was delivered on a Saturday morning to prevent me from paying it in until Monday, but then I’m not!

The wedding was a small affair with eleven of us present; we had it in the choir stalls which made it very intimate and relaxed. I think everyone seemed to enjoy it; I certainly did, I always enjoy weddings but I think this one was very special as they are a very nice family.

Back to the Rectory for some lunch and a rest; I didn’t get the chance to go back to bed today so I was beginning to wilt.

Continued with the admin up until about 8pm; I finished all that I had planned for today including some laminated service posters up until April; there’s just a few more things that I’ve got to do next week and then everything will be completed for the Sabbatical; I will have done as much as I can do, the Benefice will then be on her own.

We sat down to have a light supper and watched The Transformers movie on the TV which is really good if you like Sci-Fi/action films, as any regular reader of this blog will know that I do.

Bed at 11pm.

God be with you-Keep the faith and keep smiling-I am-Rob.

Friday 26^th-Thermal underwear

Up at 1.10am; I went back to bed at 4.30am and was up again at 7.15am.

Off to N. Lopham for a rare treat sung Matins; it has become a bit of a tradition at N. Lopham to have sung matins on St. Stephen’s Day. It is a shame that only six of us gathered for a service that is truly beautiful. I was a couple of minutes late getting there which was terrible considering the time I was up.

Back to the Rectory for a quick cup of coffee before going down to Bressingham for a wedding rehearsal for tomorrow’s wedding; although it is a beautiful sunny day, it was only about 2° and probably a lot colder in the church. The bride to be is a bit concerned about her wedding dress; this is a case for thermal underwear! I always enjoy rehearsals; it’s a good time to really get to know the couples and also to have a bit of a laugh but I’m not sure my humour is totally understood by the bride and her sister who are both South African, I was certainly given a few strange looks. It was a very intimate rehearsal; bride, groom, flower girl and bride’s sister who is giving her away. We decided to have the wedding in the choir as there will only be 11 of us there tomorrow; so they will be getting married in the round so to speak. It will also be better for concentrating some heat on them.

After returning to the Rectory Jan and I had a light lunch before having a very lazy afternoon; it would have been nice to have carried on into the evening but if you are a regular reader of this blog you will know what Friday means-Parish Admin and Christmas or not it still has to be done. Most of it was done by about 10pm so just the laminated posters for the notice boards and the registers to be done for tomorrow’s wedding; they will have to wait until the morning.

A cold meat supper and catching up with the Christmas Day Dr. Who which I thought was very good; I can’t wait until it starts again, there are not many TV programmes I look forward to watching but Dr. Who is definitely one of them, I’ve been hooked on the series since I was a boy and watching the first episode-how sad is that?

Bed at midnight both of us tired and looking forward to some time off; I only have four services to do now before the Sabbatical and writing the bulletin I was a little taken aback that after Wednesday my next service in the Benefice will be on Palm Sunday, April 5^th AD2009!

News from the two patients today; Jan is getting better each day but can’t get rid of the headaches and is still not eating properly and Drew ventured out for the first time today; it seems incredible that he and Dawn haven’t seen each other since before Christmas but very wisely kept apart as Dawn has some elderly relatives staying with her.

God be with you-Keep the faith and keep smiling-I am-Rob.

Thursday 25^th-Hot Tub

Up at 4.41am.

Off to N. Lopham for the family communion at 9.30am; there was a good congregation there and I thought it was a lovely service even if I did forget the prayer of preparation. After the service, once again there was much interest in my chasuble, even though no one knew what it was called. I found that a bit sad; I don’t think for one minute that not knowing what a chasuble is, or indeed anything else, disqualifies anyone from being a Christian but what I do find sad is that people who have been in the church all their lives are not interested enough in the church as an institution so as to know the ins and outs of the church.

I was also asked rather disdainfully: “And where did that service come from?” It was advertised as a Family Communion and consequently I used one of the modern Common Worship settings for communion; the question did come from an 8 o’clocker.

After taking G home I then went on to Fenners for a delightful informal Christmas morning of Carols, prayer and a reading before they set off for their Christmas lunch in the Park Hotel.

Then onto a home communion in N. Lopham where since my last visit their dog had been put down and their almost permanently lit log fire had been replaced by an electric fire-all signs of advancing age but nevertheless I was well received and I had a lovely chat with them.

I returned to the Rectory just after 1pm; the earliest I’ve done so on Christmas Day for many years; what with the death of one home communicant, two others being in hospital and the general reluctance to have me call on Christmas Day (quite understandable) this is the fewest home communions (3) I’ve done on Christmas Day since the beginning of my ministry. However, it is a welcome early finish as my cellulitis has flared up again and I am extremely tired. So after a spot of light lunch I’m allowed a Christmas afternoon snooze.

The two patients had recovered enough to have a roast beef supper about 7pm and then the three of us opened some of our presents. My best present was my wedding ring which I haven’t been able to wear for a few months because of a problem with my left hand; Jan had had it made bigger so that it more comfortable to wear, I was well pleased with that.

Later we had a rather surreal conversation with Chris in Harrogate on the speaker phone so that five of us were talking and listening all at once; he has also recovered from his bug and he and Neha had spent the evening outside on the porch of their log cabin in their hot tub drinking some fine wines; I wouldn’t mind having a go at that, although I’m not too bothered about the wines.

As we were all tired we retired to bed at 11pm.

God be with you-Keep the faith and keep smiling-I am-Rob.

Wednesday 24^th-Two Hours and cold

Bed at 4.45am and up again at 7.30am. I’m hoping for a better day than yesterday.

After yesterday’s excitement on the internet everything seems to have settled down again. The person who hi-jacked everything yesterday is obviously still trying as I’ve been getting emails informing me of Password requests all through the day but hopefully the steps I’ve now taken will prevent him from getting my passwords again.

News from the patients both are recovering well but both are not eating as well as they should be.

I again rang the Funeral Directors about the missing fee that was supposed to be hand delivered yesterday and the person I spoke to swore on their life that I would get the cheque today; I presume they are now dead because I didn’t get the cheque!

A funeral at Fersfield this morning at 11am followed by a burial in the churchyard. It is very messy over at Fersfield around the church there are literally rivers of mud everywhere.

Back to the Rectory for a little bit of a shock; a lady I would have been taking communion to on Christmas Day died overnight. Her daughter rang me to ask me if I would take the funeral on January 9^th; as much as I try to be hard about the decision, I promised E that I would take her funeral. It will mean a bit of rescheduling to the Sabbatical but I can’t go back on a promise; we will do some visiting at the beginning of the Sabbatical rather than the end of it.

A light lunch and a doze before going to Roydon for the Crib Service at 4pm; this is some production with lights and sound effects. There were about 80 in church to enjoy the children’s performance and the carols; they did a brilliant job considering the short time I had to prepare them. I wonder if anyone noticed that for the second year running that the children actually led the whole service; my input was minimal.

After getting some cash so that I could play at being Father Christmas later on; it might have made a good picture-a priest in cassock at a cash machine-I don’t do this very often so I have to look at my pin number (which I have written down-I know it’s not good security-but I’d never remember it otherwise) several times just to make sure I do it properly. Jan did offer to do it for me but then I’d have got told off for how much cash I took out. I must admit I get a great deal of pleasure in giving presents, especially the more useful type like cash; if I was ever a millionaire I’d probably give most of it away and thoroughly enjoy doing so.

I then set about writing T H E Christmas sermon; you’re on a loser really, however brilliant the sermon may be unless it is short no one will listen to it-so I take the following advice: “So how long should a good sermon be? It should be like a woman's skirt, long enough to cover the essentials and short enough to keep you interested!” I know that might sound sexist but as I have no interest in men whatsoever I find it a good maxim. It might sound daft but it is more difficult to write a good short sermon than it is to write a long one of any description.

Now to my least favourite job wrapping presents; I used to enjoy it when I could do it with a bottle of scotch but now it’s not the same with a cup of tea; A vicar’s wife I know quite well offered me some present bags and I must admit to taking the biggest one and taking what should have been six individual presents and just putting (squishing might be a better word) them into the bag. I then spent the next couple of hours wrapping the remainder up; I belong to the school of wrap that is probably called tear, scrunch and tape and however hard I try to make the finished product neat and tidy it looks like I’ve just scrunched it up! For me there is no logic in taking the present out of its postal container and then re-wrapping it in something else; why can’t Amazon dispatch things in coloured card boxes and then I wouldn’t have to do anything.

Eventually sat down for a light supper about 9pm and as almost a ritual fell asleep immediately afterwards, well I hadn’t had that much sleep the night before.

Arrived at Fersfield for the midnight service about 10.45pm; there is a minor panic because the safe can’t be opened; I don’t have a safe key so R has to go back home all the way to N. Lopham to get his set of keys and I have to lead the community carols rather than sit and contemplate. R did get back in time to give me 10 minutes to sit and think and watch.

My aim for the Midnight Service is to make it a special service that is different from what we normally do but still relevant to everyone; I try to make it punchy and not too long because if it goes to an hour and half it means that most who come for the community carols as well will have sat in a cold church for two hours and I suspect that is what they’ll remember the most that it was TWO HOURS AND COLD. A vicar’s wife I know quite well (who happens to be my biggest critic) tells me I did quite well-sermon was five minutes, prayers were short and to the point and the whole service with the extras including five carols was within the hour; so if that is the criterion for a good service, I succeeded.

I did struggle in the administration of communion my back was giving me such pain that I didn’t think I was going to be able to finish but I did but it took a lot of effort. If only people would hold their hands up rather than me bending down!

There was a lot of interest in my new Christmas Chasuble and as I wished people a Happy Christmas as they were going it was called many things; a cape, a poncho, robes etc. etc. no one said good sermon (so perhaps it wasn’t) or nice matins responsory or even my least favourite of all nice service!

We were out of the church by about 12.50am we then had to play Father Christmas which meant going to Roydon; I couldn’t help noticing that there were still some people in the church at Roydon so it must have been a long one! No doubt I’ll be told all the ins and outs of the service later on.

Anyway Christmas goodies delivered back to the Rectory and straight to bed with sleep hot on its tails at about 1.20am; boy was I tired but it was a good tired of a day reasonably well done. In the past we’ve stayed up and had a drink and opened a few presents but tonight we were both just glad to get to bed.

God be with you-Keep the faith and keep smiling-I am-Rob.

Tuesday 23^rd December-Rollercoaster Ride

Up at 1.05am; I went back to bed just after 5am and was up again just before 7am.

It has been a strange surrealistic day today. Drew is a lot better, it looks as if he’s had the 48 hour Winter Vomiting Bug; I was very worried about him last night and the other patient continues to improve but is still not eating well and is still having headaches. I spoke to Number 1 Son, Chris, today and although they are now in the Pine Lodge he is still not 100% better either; it looks as if he has had the same as Drew.

Had a funeral preparation visit in the Rectory in the morning, not the best preparation, the day before, but the arrangements have all been accelerated so the family can have the service by Christmas.

I then spoke to a Funeral Director in Thetford who for some reason unknown to me, because no explanation has been offered, hasn’t paid the fees for a funeral service I undertook for him at the end of October. This is now the fourth request I made of them to pay the fees; today I was told that the fees would be dropped off by a member of their staff on their way home; which of course it wasn’t. I am left with no alternative but to make an official complaint with the Archdeacon. I’ve never experienced this in my ministry before.

Jan & I had some lunch and then in preparation for the next couple of busy days had a few hours rest. When I came down I felt as if I was in a living nightmare. First my bank rang to query whether I had made any big purchases on my card which I hadn’t then I found my email account had been hi-jacked along with my eBay and PayPal accounts and over a £1000 of purchases had been made. Hopefully the bank has stopped the payments and after what seemed ages I managed to regain control of my accounts and change passwords etc. but my email account proved to be somewhat more difficult. Try changing a password on an email account without having access to an email account and you will find it is nearly impossible; eventually I spoke to someone on the phone from MSN in Canada (thankfully on a free line) and it was changed for me. When I got access to my email account most of my emails had been deleted; so if you’re expecting a reply from me and you haven’t had it yet, that’s why. This all took several hours and all the things I’d planned to do this afternoon went by the wayside. These things are such a nuisance. Unfortunately the time is now 12.30am and I’ve lost control of my email account again!

I then saw the couple I’m marrying on Saturday along with their newly acquired licence; so everything is now in order for the wedding to go ahead. I’ve just got to find some time to fit in a rehearsal.

We then had a go at fitting the new monitor but without much joy there seems to be a clash with the hardware somewhere; that will now have to wait until next week.

Eventually we had supper just after 9pm and went to bed about 11pm; today has been such a rollercoaster ride with all the various things happening that I was up again at 11.30pm. I was hoping to get up and getting on with the things I wanted to do this afternoon but I suspect this email business is going to keep me occupied for a few hours.

It is now 4.20am and thanks to the people in MSN I've finally got my email back again. This chap is very cheeky he even changed my details to his, presumably; Ras Kenningham, Flat 5 Frenden 123 Slough Lane Kingsbury London NW9 8YE.

As yet I haven't gone to bed yet; I think I'll go now (4.25am).

God be with you-Keep the faith and keep smiling-I am, just-Rob.

Monday 22^nd December-Excelled herself

Up at 2.05am; I did manage to get back to bed just after 6am and was up again just before 8am.

Poor old Drew is really suffering; it is not like him to be ill. All we can do at the moment is to make sure that he keeps the fluid going in and that he doesn’t dehydrate which is bad for most people but for those who have kidney problems it is really serious. The other patient seems to be getting better day by day but even she is not eating properly and is still complaining about the rawness in her stomach.

Jan took Dobby to the vets as she had to be examined so we could have some more pills to help her relax when she travels. Dobby is quite a nervous dog and I know from when I’ve taken her to the vets before she is just like a quivering plate of jelly. She excelled herself today by doing her business in the waiting room; Dobby that is, not Jan. The vet examined her and found an enlarged liver (I told her to cut down on the alcohol-oh no sorry it was Dobby again, not Jan) but otherwise fairly good shape for her 14 years; so we got the pills for the journeys on the Sabbatical, we find that normally we only have to give her half a tablet and that is sufficient to zonk her out; if we don’t she sits up the whole journey anxiously watching the lorries and other traffic through the back window and working herself into a bit of a state; by the time we get to journeys end she is a nervous wreck.

I cancelled the staff meeting due to take place in the Rectory this morning because I didn’t want Ben or Reg to take the risk of catching anything that Drew may have. It was a blessing in disguise really because it gave me the opportunity to get K’s Nativity Play into a more accessible shape and format; I’m not sure I would have had the time to do it otherwise.

To Roydon Church for the BFG dress rehearsal; I and a few Mums thought that perhaps we weren’t going to be ready in time. I put K in charge of stage management and took the reins myself; we had one run through in the Parish Room and then we let the children dress up and we had a dress rehearsal in the church. I must say it was very impressive with the lighting that K had set up but I was a bit worried about the thunder effect; I can see most of the church bursting into tears when that is done! The children were real stars and by 4.30pm everything was going well; I had some really good helpers in J, C and Jan. I was a bit concerned about my flexible keyboard as some of the children mistook it for a splat the rat game and were splatting it to their heart’s content in my absence!

Back to the Rectory feeling absolutely exhausted but more relaxed about the thought of the Nativity Play on Wednesday; it’s going to be great so don’t miss it!

There had been a minor miracle in the Rectory today; a vicar I know quite well had been wearing down a vicar’s wife I know quite well into letting him have a new monitor for the computer (a 28” one-no less-to replace the 22” one he already had); and lo and behold one turned up today! The vicar’s wife was not amused!

We spent about an hour or so connecting up the monitor but failed to get it going and then had a panic attack when we couldn’t get the old one working again either; eventually we got the old one going again and after some research and buying a cable on eBay I’m fairly confident that the new one will be up and running tomorrow. The vicar I know quite well has a secret dream that one day he will have three such monitors connected to the computer; a vicar’s wife I know quite well also has a dream that isn’t secret at all that says “Oh no you won’t!”

We had supper about 8pm after which I did my usual and fell asleep; we went to bed just after 10pm.

We are really concerned about Drew and if there is no improvement tomorrow we will have to call the Doctor in as he can deteriorate quite rapidly. No news from Number 1 Son & Neha so we are hoping that they are now safely enhanced in their Pine Cabin in Harrogate.

God be with you-Keep the faith and keep smiling-I am-Rob.

Sunday 21^st December-Orgasmic

I went to bed just after 4am and was up again just after 6am; at least I did go to bed eventually last night but not for long.

Well, today is the longest day of the year so I suppose the evenings will be drawing out now!

Today is traditionally one of the busiest Sundays of the Church year; it is not too bad for me I have just four services today, two in the morning and two in the afternoon.

The first service is my favourite the 8am at Roydon, I feel it is just the perfect way to start a Sunday; the numbers are not bad this morning there were 15. I’m taking the 10am service at Roydon as well which means I don’t have to go trekking all over the place; it gives me an opportunity to just sit, think and pray before the first person normally turns up at about 9.30am.

The second service is a Christingle service and I was in a bit of a quandary as to whether I would use one of my puppet friends or talk about the Children’s Society; I decide on the latter because it is the 40^th anniversary of them using this service. I don’t know how many are there but there are a good number; we gave out 54 Christingles so I suppose that’s how many there was. There were a good number of children including some representatives from the Brownies and Rainbows.

There was one lovely part of the service when J one of our Toddler Church children came up to me in the prayers and sat on my knee for the Lord’s Prayer; it was all perfectly natural and not staged at all and it made the service for me. We normally have this service in January but because of the Sabbatical we brought it forward.

We got back to the Rectory about 11.30am; it had been Jan’s first service for a while so she was a bit washed out but she is continuing to get a bit better each day although she still isn’t eating properly.

We had a phone call from Number 1 Son, Chris who still hasn’t left for Harrogate yet; he has been ill overnight but is hoping to go later today. As I write this at 3.30am on Monday morning; Number 2 Son, Drew is now also ill, which because of his transplant can sometimes be a bit more serious. During the day I have heard of so many people being ill, it’s a bit ironic really because Drew has been taking all sorts of vitamins lately to help him stop catching anything; I’ve no doubt it will catch up with me eventually, probably about January 1^st knowing my luck.

I had a brief rest and lunch in the interval between morning and afternoon services. Off to South Lopham for the second Christingle of the day. When I first came here in 1997 we used to get about 120 to this particular service but over the years that has gradually dropped; we gave out just 38 Christingles this afternoon. I used the same talks in both Christingle services hopefully promoting the work of the Children’s Society.

Back to the Rectory about 5.20pm before picking up G and going to the 6.30pm Carol service in Bressingham; again, this is another service where the congregation has dropped over the years but I’m glad to say that it was up on recent years. The service had a bit of a surrealistic start as R one of the churchwardens got up and wished Jan and I the best on our Sabbatical; I must admit it caught me a bit unaware. Once the service was underway properly it took me a little while to get back into my stride. I knew that I was going to read Jan’s reading but I also ended up reading two other readings as well as mine as two of the readers seemed unaware that they were reading; it must have seemed strange to the congregation that I did so many readings. There was one further little twist to the service as the collection was taken during the penultimate carol which happened to be one of the shortest which left an embarrassing couple of minutes of silence to allow the collection to be finished; mind you, if that is the worst thing we ever do in a service that’s not too bad. I didn’t exactly cover myself in glory last night as I pulled one of our congregations legs about the carol sheet we were using as she had asked for a particular one (which it was); unfortunately she didn’t find it very funny and she was still muttering about it when she left; I guess that will be another apology I’ll have to give, I sometimes can empathise very much with St. Peter who always seemed to be putting his foot in it!

After the service I learnt from some of our neighbours that our cat Islay who we brought with us in 1997 had passed away in her sleep on Wednesday, she would have been about 17 years old. She migrated from us to our neighbours about 6 years ago, although she regularly came back to visit us, I guess their food was better than ours, they knew her as Harriet. I always thought of her as an orgasmic cat because you would only have to stroke her and she would go into complete rapture and a state of ecstasy and would purr so much you thought she was going to explode!

I got back to the Rectory about 8.15pm very grateful that the services were over. We had supper whilst catching up on the last two episodes of Merlin during which there was a bit of a dispute between me and a vicar’s wife I know quite well. Jan had already seen the penultimate episode which I had fallen asleep at the beginning of; which I, of course denied, she then retaliated by saying that she had never heard of anyone watching television whilst snoring. Well I was cut to the quick; in any case if I had fallen asleep the bit where I did and the bit where I woke up again seemed to fit and make perfect sense, so if by chance I had fallen asleep, which I very much doubt (it was probably Dobby our dog who was snoring) it seemed as if I’d seen the whole episode anyway!

Anyway, eventually I did fall asleep so Jan woke me about 11.15pm to go to bed.

God be with you-Keep the faith and keep smiling-I am-Rob.

Saturday 20^th December-Holy Bingo Money

Up at 2.05am. Continued ploughing my way through the things that have to be done for Christmas, various services and things; I wish I could do all the registers for the wedding on Saturday but I won’t know for sure if it can go ahead until Tuesday when they get the licence, everything should be okay.

To the Parish Room at Roydon to make the Christingles for tomorrow; we had S, D (who very kindly came in on her break), C and her two daughters E & F plus Jan and myself, we made 70 all in all which should be enough for tomorrow morning and afternoon. We were expecting to do the crib but someone had already kindly done that. It was Jan’s first proper time out and although she feels a lot better she’s still not eating properly yet.

Back to the Rectory about midday; there is definitely a funeral at Fersfield on the morning of Christmas Eve, it is Robyn Parks RIP from Fersfield, I buried her husband Lawrie in 2002.

Sorted all the bits out for the delivery run; this one aspect of our work that both Jan and myself WILL NOT miss on our Sabbatical! I thought I’d been so efficient in sorting all the fees out but I’ve just realised I completely forgot about the Holy Bingo money for the two Lophams’ churches; they will have to wait for it now until in the week.

I had a spot of lunch; I don’t enjoy eating by myself, I prefer it to be a social occasion rather just eating for the sake of it and then we set off just before 2.30pm.

We had to go to every church and to make three extra visits as well to see S the S. Lopham Treasurer, to return a Lasagne dish and a saucepan plus just a small bit of shopping in Morrison’s before calling into Roydon our last port of call before returning home; J & A had kindly set the church up for Jan, people have been really kind during her illness.

I had to spend some time on the telephone arranging a funeral preparation visit; unfortunately it can’t be until Tuesday morning but that is the earliest any of the family could see me.

Eventually sat down and had supper, I think I stayed awake for the whole of it but I’m not totally sure; it has been a long day. Eventually went to bed about 10pm but not surprisingly could not get to sleep so I got up at 11pm to do some work. I need to re-write the script of the Nativity Play and put it into a more accessible format for the children to read off a computer screen. I don’t know if I shall go back to bed.

God be with you-Keep the faith and keep smiling-I am-Rob.

Friday 19^th December-Theological aids

Up at 3.05am.

It’s Friday so it’s admin and telephone calls all day; at least I got my tax return done and posted, I think it’s a record. I’m almost expecting some problems with my tax return because it includes some big items such as replacement computers and a large number of books and theological aids (these have absolutely no connection to other personal aids or the like). I’ve always had problems with the books and Theological aids section of the Tax Return; you can claim about £120 with no hassle which amounts nowadays to about 6 or 7 decent theology books but anything more than that is always questioned; since my return was picked out of the hat for investigation some years ago I have been meticulous in keeping receipts but I always worry about this section.

Jan actually went out shopping this afternoon and she says she’s feeling a lot better but not quite there yet.

I just completely conked out in the afternoon; I just couldn’t keep my eyes open but I did keep working until about 8.45pm and I still haven’t finished yet. It looks as if we may have a funeral on Christmas Eve but as yet I don’t have any details which is going to make things a bit of a rush on Monday. I was hoping to do some Home Communions on Monday and Tuesday but that is looking highly unlikely so unless people want me to come on Christmas Day which I quite often do anyway it is looking as if they will have to wait until the last week in December because there is a wedding to prepare for as well next week.

People are not always keen for you to bring them communion on Christmas or Easter Day; they may have family with them or be away with their families but it always gives me great joy to take people communion on these special days, it’s always a great privilege as well.

Like my two Sons and I guess many men I’m not that great at wrapping presents up so I couldn’t help laughing at a service that Firebox. Com provide if you buy Christmas presents from them; for a fee of £3.99 they will wrap your presents in a way that makes it look as if you’ve wrapped them e.g. as badly as I do. I’m not sure I would ever use it but you’ve got to give them 10/10 for originality.

I had a package with an eBay item arrive yesterday and it contained a complimentary pack of lovehearts in them (which I’m eating as I’m writing apart from a select few I’ve saved for a vicar’s wife I know quite well) do you remember them? They’re a lot smaller than I remember them but so was I when I last ate some but the messages on them have been modernised such as “Text me,” I don’t think mobile phones had been invented when I last had some lovehearts.

Number 1 Son called into see us in the evening, it was a bit d