Frequently asked questions about marriage and weddings in church
A/ Christians believe that marriage is a gift from God. In the marriage ceremony, a couple make a public declaration of lifelong commitment to love each other, come what may.
A/ Everyone lives in a parish and belongs to a parish church. That’s the church you should contact for more information about getting married. To find out which parish you are in click here.
Q/ I’m not baptised. I don’t go to church. Can I still get married in church?
A/ Yes! If you live in the parish of the church you want to marry in.
A/ Get in touch with your local parish priest. He or she will probably wish to meet with you in person to discuss your plans.
Q/ What if I want to be married in a different church?
A/ If you are a regular worshipper in that church, it is usually possible to be married there. Just speak to your minister.
If you are not a regular worshipper why not start attending? You will normally be expected to attend services for some time before becoming eligible to be married there.
If you have a special connection with the church, you can apply for a Special Licence. To apply or find out more contact The Faculty Office, 1 The Sanctuary, Westminster, London SW1P 3JT tel: 020 7222 5381
Q/ I heard that you can get married in any church you want to now. Is this true?
In July 2007, the General Synod (the Church of England's governing body) approved steps to widen the wedding regulations; these are expected to come into effect in the Autumn 2008 if they successfully proceeed through the parliamentary process. The regulations are designed to make it easier for couples to get married in a church that has special meaning to them.
Provided the church is available, couples can choose to get married in:
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their local parish
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the parish where they were baptised and/or confirmed
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a parish they have lived in for 6 months or more, at any time during their lives
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a parish they have attended worship in for at least 6 months
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the parish their parents lived or worshipped in (during the child's lifetime)
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the parish their parents or grandparents were married in.
The legislation is currently being prepared for parliament's Ecclesiastical Committee before its passage through both Houses of Parliament. After that, if it passes, it will receive Royal Assent.
However at the moment, if you want to get married in a church that is not your parish church you will need to talk to the minister there (see previous question)
If there is a good reason, couples can apply for a Special Licence. To apply or find out more contact The Faculty Office, 1 The Sanctuary, Westminster, London SW1P 3JT tel: 020 7222 5381
Q/ We’ve decided to get married abroad but we would like a church blessing. Is that possible?
A/ There is no reason why you shouldn’t do this, provided your vicar is happy. There is a service of prayer and dedication after a civil ceremony and this can be adapted. There are no legal requirements or set fees.
Q/ I’m divorced. Can I still get married in church?
A/ The Church of England believes that marriage is for life. But it recognises that sadly, some marriages do fail. In exceptional circumstances, the Church accepts that a divorced person may marry again.
Speak to your parish priest. He or she will want to talk to you frankly about your past and your hopes for the future. Even if it is not possible to do your wedding, they may be willing to offer you service of prayer and dedication after a civil ceremony.
Q/ I’m Church of England and he’s a Catholic. Does that matter?
A/ People of all denominations have a right to be married in their parish church (provided they have not been married before). So it doesn’t matter from the Church of England’s perspective.
Q/ Why do we need marriage preparation?
A/ You have probably invested a lot of time planning your wedding. The day is important but your marriage should last for the rest of your life. However much you think you know each other, you are still two separate individuals with different backgrounds, personalities, experiences, hopes and fears. Churches often offer an opportunity to talk through these issues, sometimes as a group with other couples.
Q/ What are the legal requirements?
A/ The normal preliminary to getting married in the Church of England is by banns.
If you are under the age of eighteen, you must have your parents’ consent to marry.
There are circumstances where some form of licence, such as a common licence or special licence, is more appropriate. Your priest or minister will discuss with you what you need to do.
Q/ How much will it cost?
A/ The legal fees for a marriage cover the publication of the banns, the marriage service and a certificate of marriage. These fees are fixed centrally and are currently approximately £240.
These fees do not cover any extras you may wish to have for the service, such as a choir, organist, bell-ringers, special lighting, fees for video recording and so on. Check with your parish priest.
Q/ Can we be involved in planning the service?
A/ Yes. You can choose to have a modern language service or one in more traditional language including the Book of Common Prayer service. For some ideas about hymns and readings, click here.
Q/ Should we have one or two rings?
A/ A wedding ring is a symbol of unending love and faithfulness, and of the commitment you are making to each other. It is entirely up to you whether you have one ring or two.
Q/ Can I marry in any other colour than white?
A/ Yes
Q/ Can we have a video recording of the service?
A/ You will need to ask permission from the parish priest and there may be a fee. Permission is not required to record the authorised words of the service but bear in mind there may be copyright issues if you're recording a person's performance (eg a professional organist) or using copyright hymns or readings.
Further information is available at http://ww.cofe.anglican.org/worship/downloads/litcopy.rtf under Video and Audio Recordings
A/ The minister taking your service will probably want to meet you and the other people taking part in the service before the wedding, in the church, to talk to you all about what to expect.
Q/ What about flowers in church?
A/ Many churches can do these for you at a reasonable charge and the flower arranger will be happy to discuss what you want. You can also do your own or engage your own florist.
A /Although you have the right to get married in a church, the time of the service is decided by negotiation with your minister. It must be between 8am and 6pm and not clash with other services. Therefore you could get married on a Sunday provided it was not at a time of the normal Sunday services and the minister was willing to do it.
Q/ What happens if one of us lives abroad?
A/ Marriage by Common Licence can take place on the basis of one of the couple living in the parish or regularly attending the church without any action being necessary where the other party lives. Your vicar will know how to apply for a Common Licence (see below if it is a particular country). However, because most clergy or churches like to offer marriage preparation, they like to see you both.
Q/ What happens if one of us is a foreign national?
A/ If one is a national of a country outside Canada, Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, the EU or USA The Church has a responsibility to conduct marriages which will be recognised in the country the bride or groom comes from. This is done for the couple’s benefit not just for bureaucracy. Therefore, the Faculty Office strongly recommends that these marriages should be done by Common Licence rather than banns and some dioceses ask the person to obtain from the relevant embassy or consulate a letter saying their marriage will be recognised.
A/ The Church offers a service of Thanksgiving of Marriage, which may be used for a number of different occasions including:
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renewing marriage vows
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to celebrate a special anniversary
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after a period of separation or difficulty in marriage.
The service may be held in a church or another location, such as the home (you will need to speak to you parish priest about the exact details). You may also wish to combine the renewing of vows with a service of Holy Communion.
There are no legal requirements or set fees.
Q/ What is the Marriage Measure?
The new measure, which is not yet law, provides for a couple to have the same right to marry, without an Archbishop's Special Licence, in the parish church of a parish with which one or both of them can show that he or she has a 'qualifying connection'. For more questions and answers about the Marriage Measure see.