In our benefice we believe that the funeral service should belong to the family, not to the church or to the clergy. Many of the traditions regarding the funeral service have now relaxed and we try as much as is possible to tailor the service to the family's needs. It is an important occasion that can't be repeated, you will want it it right and we want it to be right for you. However, there are some occasions when to do something or in a certain way will actually detract from the service. Each funeral service is seen as an individual service to allow the family to feel that they have said goodbye to their loved one in way that was effective for them.

Our clergy go to great lengths to help you prepare a suitable service of Thanksgiving and Celebration of the life of your loved one.

The service has a basic framework which can be tailored to suit the individual needs and this is normally done at a meeting with the clergy and the family.

This is the basic framework:

Sentences of Scripture

These are used first as a sign that this is a Christian Funeral and secondly as a signal to the congregation that the service is about to begin

Welcome and Introduction

Here the minister welcomes the congregation into the church or crematorium and offers the family the condolences of the congregation. Then on behalf of the family thanks the congregation for coming along to support them and to say farewell to their loved one. Any announcements that are to be made are made here; they might be things such as donations in lieu of flowers should be given to... and will go to... and that after the service there will be refreshments at..... but this of course depends on the families wishes. A short opening prayer may be said

Hymn or music

If required

A reading from Scripture

A Tribute or Address or Homily 

Hymn or music

If required

Prayers

Praying for the deceased, those who mourn, a thanksgiving for the life of the deceased, a prayer for the future finishing with the Lord's Prayer

Hymn or music

If required

The Commendation

Where we commend the deceased into the loving arms of God

A blessing or final prayer

Before leaving to the churchyard for a burial or the crematorium for a cremation

The Committal and blessing

All of the above may take place in a church or a crematorium but remember that in a crematorium there is a fixed time for the service and everything that is wanted for the service may not possibly fit in.

Remember also that ths is just a framework, things can be moved, added to or left out all together.

We encourage members of the families to take part in the service if they feel up to it, not because they feel they must. A person who breaks down diverts the whole attention from the person who has passed away and becomes the focus themselves.

We encourage friends ior families to give a tribute to the deceased but bearing mind the above.

Often poetry or a secular reading speak to us at times like this and the clergy can advise on suitable poems or readings as well as hymns and music.

Remember that the clergy have a great deal of experience in dealing with funerals and they want you to have the best service possible. There are however somethings that don't work or are not really suitable for such a service.

The service begins with the priest or other minister reading aloud such reassuring sentences from the scriptures as: 'I am the resurrection and the life,' says the Lord; 'he that believes in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live: and whosoever lives and believes in me shall never die,' and: 'I know that my Redeemer lives ...'

A psalm - often The Lord is my shepherd - follows and lessons are read telling of God's care and of the hope of eternal life.

At this point, there may be an address or a sermon remembering the life and work of the dead person and the great Christian beliefs about life beyond death. Such words can be a comfort and strength to the mourners but sometimes it is felt that the service and the readings from the Bible convey all that needs to be said.

If the family wish it, the Communion service follows. The prayers recall the promise of the resurrection, entrust the dead person to the love and mercy of God and ask for comfort and strength for those who mourn.

The Committal

The committal is a particularly solemn moment of the funeral service. It takes place either at the graveside or, in the case of a cremation, in the crematorium chapel or in church before the hearse leaves for the crematorium.

In the cemetery or churchyard, the family will gather round the open grave into which the coffin is lowered and they will hear the words: 'We therefore commit his (or her) body to the ground; earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust; in the sure and certain hope of the Resurrection to eternal life.' Handfuls of earth are then scattered on the coffin.

In a crematorium, the words of committal may be accompanied by the closing of a curtain to hide the coffin from view or the coffin is moved slowly out of sight.

The committal can be a very emotional moment, there are no words or gestures that can make this part of the service pleasant; by its very nature there is a necessary finality which enables the bereavement process to begin. Many who are suffering grief find that, even in their sadness, the words of prayer can lift them towards the experience of Christian rejoicing in the knowledge of life beyond death.

The offering of prayer and the trust that the person is in God's safe hands can begin the process of healing the grief of loss.