Help for the bereaved
The Upper Waveney Benefice
Bereavement
Support Group
http://www.upperwaveneybenefice.com/
At your time of loss, please be assured that this leaflet comes with heart-felt prayers and sympathy
At a time like this words seem so inadequate to express our concern. We have put together this leaflet for your use as you feel fit. You may have many feelings; confusion and desolation, resentment and bitterness, guilt and failure, sadness and worry about the future. It is so easy to become weighed down and confused by all these feelings and sometimes they threaten to overwhelm us
It’s so important to let the tears come at times like this, tears are the body’s way of healing itself. Jesus, himself was not afraid to weep at the grave of his friend Lazarus.
There is nothing that anyone can say or do that will take your grief away just now, but be assured that Christ himself understands your pain and he says to you; “Come to me all of you who are tired from carrying heavy loads and I will give you rest,” and “Blessed are they who mourn for they shall be comforted.”
The Rev’d Rob Mellowship
www.upperwaveneybenefice.com
The Rectory, High Road, Bressingham, Diss IP22 2AT
01379 688267 email: robmellowship@msn.com
A Prayer
Lord Jesus Christ, I come to you. Yet words cannot express how I feel. You know how desolate I am. I feel so empty and helpless and angry. It’s all like a nightmare, yet I know what’s happened is real. Lord Jesus, I pour out all my grief, my tears, my pain, my confusion. Please help me to bear it and to bear it with me and give me your peace. Amen.
About your loved one
Grief and sorrow are part of the cost of love and the feelings you are feeling at this time are an indication of the love you shared. Remember those moments of love you shared and those precious memories will remain with you for ever for your comfort.
O Lord, the giver of all life, I thank you for the love I have known, for joys and sorrows shared. I accept, Lord, that the life you once gave has returned to you, the source of all life and love.Please help me to see that no one suffers once they are safe in the palm of your hand.
Please bring your gentle healing to the hurt that comes with parting.
Thank you, Lord Jesus, that you care about me.
For the start of each day
“I cry to you, O Lord;
I say, “You are my refuge, my portion in the land
of the living.” Listen to my cry,
for I am in desperate need.”
Psalm 142: 5-6a
Father God, I cry to you for help, help me to pick up the pieces, to make decisions, to do the things which have to be done, to meet people, those who are embarrassed by my sadness, and those who want to help but don’t know how.
Lord, I give myself, my fears and all this day holds to you. Please help me to receive the strength I know you will give. Amen.
For the past
“The Lord is compassionate and gracious,
Slow to anger, abounding in love.”
Psalm 103: 8
Lord Jesus, thank you for lovely memories to treasure. But Lord, as I look back, there are things I wish I hadn’t said or done.
Now it’s too late to put them right. Lord, when I feel guilty, please forgive me and help me to receive the forgiveness you promise to give. Amen.
The Future
Jesus Christ said: “ You must not let yourselves be distressed, you must hold on to your faith in God and to your faith in me.”
John 14: 1
Lord God, I am shaken by this experience. It has made me think about so many things. Lord, protect me from the isolation which comes from bitterness and self pity. O God, you can lead me on out of the loneliness of this dark time. Help me to rely on you, not just now in my despair, but always. Lord, please help me to place the future in your hands. Amen.
A Prayer for each new day
Lord, give me strength for this day. To weep when I should weep, to accept the comfort that memories bring, to face the future with courage, to meet people who love me, those who want to help me, those who want to comfort me, but don’t know what to say.
O God, help me to know your peace, so that I may bring peace to others. Amen.
There is an annual service of Remembrance with Thanksgiving which is normally on Low Sunday, the Sunday after Easter and there is also a Year’s Mind List from which we remember the departed on the anniversaries of their death and also on
All Souls’ Day, November 2nd.
MAY GOD GIVE YOU PEACE AND GENTLY WIPE THE TEARS FROM YOUR EYES
THE UPPER WAVENEY BENEFICE
www.upperwaveneybenefice.com
Bressingham-Fersfield-North Lopham
Roydon-South Lopham
At the bottom of every pond and river there live some pretty strange creatures. One of these creatures is a dragonfly nymph which is a pretty horrible looking creature. Not only does it look horrible, it is pretty horrible because it will eat anything smaller than itself and sometimes even some things that are bigger than itself.
The dragonfly nymph looks almost like a creature from outer space and nobody thinks that they look beautiful.
The dragonfly nymph is like the equivalent of a teenager but of a dragonfly. They are about 18-49mm long and they root about on the river or pond bed living among all the mud, stones, leaves and things that collect at the bottom of rivers and ponds.
The dragonfly nymphs are predators, that means that they feed on other insects and small fish and sometimes they are cannibals and eat each other.
So you can see that they are not very nice creatures.
There are other similar creatures that live on the river bed like damselfly and mayfly nymphs and sometimes they make a sort of shell around their bodies with bits of stone, leaves and twigs so they can camouflage themselves and creep up on things easier and catch and eat them.
Even though they are quite small compared to us they give a sharp bite if we don’t hold them right.
Dragonfly nymphs live on the river bed for at least one year but sometimes as long as three years.
One day when all the conditions are right and the nymph is old enough it crawls up a convenient water reed and sits in the sun.
After a little while its body hardens and it sheds its skin one last time, but this time it changes completely and as the skin is cast off out flies a beautiful dragonfly.
The dragonfly is a beautiful insect, you can sometimes see them hovering over the water and they eat other insects like wasps and hover flies.
All the other dragonfly nymphs think their friend has died and that they will no longer see him but if only they could see how beautiful and graceful it has become. The new dragonfly would love to tell his friends what it’s like to be able to fly, to sit in the warm sunshine and to have such a beautiful body, but there is one thing that he can’t do, and that is to go back under the water to tell his friends. So he has to wait for them to join him in the beautiful world.
When someone we love dies we are very sad because we can’t see them any more.
Jesus tells us that the Father’s house has many rooms (John 14: 2) and when someone dies it is just like that person going into a different room. We may not be able to see them but they are still the same person, just as when someone visits us, when they leave, the car drives off into the distance and we can’t see the person anymore, but the person is just the same as they were. Or just like the dragonfly they become something even more beautiful. St. Paul tells us that we shall all be changed in a twinkling of an eye (1 Cor. 15: 52).
When someone who is special to us dies, there are many different thoughts and feelings that go through our minds. We feel very sad and sometimes we want to cry. We feel lost as if a very special part of us is missing. We feel angry. We might worry about the future. All of these feelings are perfectly natural at a time like this and it helps us if we can talk to a parent, a teacher, a friend or a special person and share these feelings.
It’s so important to be able to cry at times like this, tears are the body’s way of healing itself. Jesus, himself was not afraid to weep at the grave of his friend Lazarus.
A Prayer for You
Father in heaven, please listen to me and all those who are praying to you now.
Those like me who are sad and crying, those who have lost friends and family.
Those like me who are alone and frightened.
Help me and them to remember, that you are there
and that you are listening and watching over me.
In Jesus' name, I pray. Amen.
This leaflet was produced by Rob Mellowship
If you would like to know more or talk to someone who has experience of death you can talk to Rob who lives at The Rectory, High Road, Bressingham IP22 2AT
01379 688267 robmellowship@msn.com
http://www.upperwaveneybenefice.com/
© 2006 Rob Mellowship
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